The Path Laid Out

Posted on Mon May 12th, 2025 @ 6:45pm by Lieutenant Gabrielle Mailliard & Master Warrant Officer Yerin Di'Ara

3,624 words; about a 18 minute read

Mission: Mission 9: When the Stars Went Silent
Location: Mess Hall
Timeline: Two Days After the Battle of Vulcan

At some point they finally finished their meal. Yerin gladly brought back refills for their water. Some juice or even coffee would be nice but she was wary of leaving another perfectly good cup to go to waste. So the water was fine for now.

“It’s strange,” she murmured as she sat down and set the glasses on the table. “I was really into our talk, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember seeing you pick up your glass. I could have sworn it was just draining each time I looked at it.” She laughed as she sipped her own drink. “I must be more tired than I thought.”

“Yes, this is strange, but not as strange as one small woman eating all of this food!” Gabrielle exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with the opportunity for banter, one of her favourite pastimes. “Where does it all go? Maybe you ‘ave a singularity you put it in, hmm? Maybe your stomach is not subject to the laws of space-time. Per’aps I am just ‘allucinating and you only ‘ad one plate? ‘oo knows?” Gabrielle gave Yerin a winning smile and picked up the glass, giving it an experimental sniff.

“Ah, you got the same Vintage Red I ‘ad before, very cleveur,” Gabrielle joked. “Choosing wine for a Frenchwoman is like bench pressing a Saurian Tigeur. Technically possible with the right training but still a very bad idea. Salut!”

Gabrielle knocked back a good third of the water in one shot and popped the glass back on the table.

“You see? It does not drink itself,” she grinned.

“Well thank you for the compliment,” she chuckled at her antics. “I’m glad I got the selection right. I might not have the same skills as a professional sommelier, but I guess I have sharper senses than most people do, especially when it comes to food. Cheers!”

And with that, Yerin raised her glass and took a sip.

“Some roommates of mine in the past had very similar questions and they all came to the same theories, especially with how it’s hard for me to find shirts that fit me properly unless they’ve been altered,” she said with a chuckle. “I usually have lighter meals since I don’t need food the same way other people do, but because I can’t… umm… ‘eat’ the way I need to, I have to eat this much so I can power through the day.”

Gabrielle looked confused.

“You can ‘ave more if you want, no need to feel embarrassed with me,” she replied, assuming Yerin meant food-babies or something similar when it came to talk of shirts. “You ‘ave a fast metabolism, no? Sometimes I wish I could eat this way.”

Yerin giggled but rather than clarify the matter out loud, she beckoned her lunch companion to come a bit closer as she spoke in hushed tones before sitting back up, snickering again at her friend’s reaction. “Of course it’s ridiculous, I’ve been the same since I became of age and was inducted as a healer in my homeworld. But it’s funny to hear different people say the same thing. And no, I’m good. It’s just that I’m not hungry for food right now but at least it should tide me over a bit longer.”

This was an answer, but also not an answer and left Gabrielle none the wiser than she had been before.

“Then what are you ‘ungry for?” The counsellor asked with a charming curiosity. “Of course if this is none of my business you can say so and we can talk about something else. But we must make sure your needs are met now you are aboard Denver, hmm? Such as we can, at a time like this.”

The question gave her pause. Before she left her homeworld, the life of a healer was a sacred calling that everyone knew. But coming to the Federation, she realized that what was common sense to her could be something entirely different for other people.

This side of her wasn’t necessarily top secret, but rather controlled information at the discretion of the Captain and the Chief Medical Officer. However, now that she was on an entirely different ship, no one knew her here and they didn’t have access to her file, unless they went straight to the database and looked in there.

Technically the Chief Counselor wasn’t exactly part of the circle of people who would know about her… unique aspects. But then, if she couldn’t open up to her and expect some kind of understanding, who else could she talk to?

And besides, there was just something about Gabrielle that made her feel at ease.

“I need… intimacy.”

For the first time since the two met Gabrielle’s smile faltered a little. It almost seemed like someone who smiled so much should have lines on their face and yet her skin was flawless.

“I know ‘ow this is. When you cannot share yourself with someone. To be alone for so long..” Her face showed empathy but behind her expression was something entirely different. There was a mix of emotions, happiness, sadness, lonliness, emptiness, joy, fear, all given a tiny spot in the blackness of the unseen in her eyes. She reached for her glass and took a drink, as if the imagination of Claret might somehow douse the emotions like real wine would.

“Well, we cannot ‘elp you with this, not officially anyway. But per’aps you will find someone also looking for comfort. You are very pretty after all.”

Yerin would have reacted sooner to Gabrielle’s misunderstanding if she hadn’t been briefly sidetracked by the brief but very intense glimpse of something deeper in her expression. Suddenly it felt like she was talking to someone who had carried the burdens of the world on her shoulders forever instead of the cheerful quirky counselor.

But then her words finally registered and she turned beet red.

“Oh! Oh no! I… I didn’t mean like that!” She denied vehemently as she vigorously waved her hands in panic. Her outburst though had caught the attention of other people trying to eat and she quickly hushed down, so that she wouldn’t draw any more eyes and ears towards them. “I wasn’t… looking for that. You have it all wrong.”

She sighed and took a big gulp of her water, wishing now it was strong synthehol for courage. “I’m an Orlanian. You probably don’t recognize my species because we’re not part of the Federation yet, and my home planet is very far away from Sol. Among my people there are those who experience a very rare mutation where they gain the ability to become healers, and I am one of them.”

Yerin didn’t want to talk her ears off so she decided to make her explanation as brief as possible. “Healers like me can heal the sick and injured, not through surgery or medicine, but from our ability to infuse them with a refined variant of biogenic energy, at least that’s what Starfleet describes it. To us, it’s called life force.”

“Ahhhh.” Gabrielle nodded, but she didn’t seem surprised and of course she wasn’t. Not being human was something she was very familiar with, but admitting it still wasn’t something she liked to do, even after centuries of her people being visible. The healing part though was new and piqued her curiosity.

“Life force,” she repeated with interest. “So, you eat, but this is not all you need for this hm? Well is there anything I can do? I ‘ave pull around ‘ere you know I am the Chief!” She grinned and rubbed her Lieutenant pips as if they meant something special, but most of this was in jest. The offer was genuine but the ‘pull’ was a self-deprecating rib. Gabrielle was very happy being a Lieutenant. In fact she had passed up promotion four times. If one got too high up and still looked about thirty people started asking questions and despite everything she still found that uncomfortable.

Relief filled the very non-human nurse. She was hoping for understanding but seeing her be so at ease about it was surprising, considering some of the most common reactions she had from people before they had a full explanation of what she could and couldn’t do.

“Thank you, Gabrielle,” she said sincerely with a smile. “I’m not sure what I need but just being able to talk to someone about this helps a lot. Unlike the Bellerophon, the only person who knows about me is one of my patients we brought onto the Denver. And yes, food and drinks are still something I need but not as much as life force.”

“I’m so glad you’re so open minded about this,” she said with a sad smile. “I’ve encountered more than a few people who found out about my ability and immediately started looking at me like I was something dangerous. One person even likened me to a vampire. I guess in a way she wasn’t wrong. But my ability doesn’t work that way. I can only absorb life force from someone who shares it with me consensually, and I can’t draw so much that it would harm the other person. My body refines the energy which I then use to heal others. That’s how I’m able to do what I used to do everyday.”

Gabrielle had to admit the initial feeling she had on hearing this was of discomfort, but unlike the stupid and inept she was able to counter her baser instincts with brain power and look at things objectively. When she did so this transaction Yerin described was no more worrying than some others that were normalised in most societies. But then nine hundred years of experience had taught her that jumped-to conclusions were usually wrong, often moronic and rarely helpful.

“This is a great thing,” she shrugged the way only a French person can shrug in the face of the awesome and amazing. “Is like… is like giving blood, no? They drain you dry you are dead. But you give a little to the ‘ospital, they use it to ‘eal, you ‘elp someone. Is like you are a doctor, or a nurse. Ah! But you are. ‘ow perfect.”

Gabrielle didn't perceptively wink, but she could have, such was her mocking for those who would be afraid of such a thing, all wrapped up with propping up Yerin in one happy sentence or two.

Yerin laughed, feeling much more at ease now. “Yes, it’s a lot like that,” she said with a chuckle. “I can understand why Starfleet Medical didn’t want me to use this ability of mine the same way I did before, especially seeing how conservative many races in the Federation are. In the past, I was able to get by with my need to, um… eat, one way or another. Lovers were rare but… some were open minded and willing to experience something different. And then there were patients who were desperate for recovery and willing to try anything. It… sounds exploitative but I didn’t give them false hope, and we both benefited from it.”

She sighed. “But now, I’m on a ship where no one knows me and all the patients we have are too weak for me to heal this way. I’ve been trying to at least help myself to a little bit of it by making people happy, giving them comfort when they’re in pain. Most people don’t know this but a state of happiness is when biogenic energy is so strong, I don’t even need to touch someone to absorb it. It works out well because I hate seeing suffering. I’m able to get by with food so far but… unless I find someone willing to share lifeforce with me, I won’t be at my best. And considering what I’ve gone through in the past, it’s not like I can easily find someone willing to do that without rumors about me spreading. I already have a reputation among the nurses as the Angel of Death. I… I don’t want something worse happening to me too.”

Gabrielle looked concerned by this.

“Angel of Death? Why? Because you comfort the most grievously injured? Then I should be the Angel of Death, because I am always there when they die, staying with them, offering support, such as anyone can when someone is dying and they are afraid,” she mused. Gabrielle considered the jam Yerin was in a bit further.

“I know ‘ow it is to be this person,” she continued. “You can dispel the rumours with the truth, but then everyone will want you to ‘eal them, because you can ‘eal anything you want, no? And you are kind and generous and you will do too much and it is not fair on you. This gift, she is a double-edged sword. N'est-ce pas?”

“Yeah I think they heard my monicker from the survivors from the Bellerophon,” she said. “But then it just so happened that the patients I spent the time with the most all passed away, so I guess the name stuck. I don’t think they mean anything bad by it but just hearing it and unable to actually do more than what I can as a nurse makes me feel so… helpless.”

She sighed. “And you’re right. That’s the other reason why Starfleet Medical wanted me to keep quiet about it. Especially right now when we have so many people who are injured. I would love to help heal them all but I’m just one person and I don’t have enough lifeforce for all of them. So you’re right, it is a double edged sword. And… I’m a little stuck on what to do. It doesn’t help that everyone I knew and served with for years are all gone. I mean… I should be mourning them right now, right? But how come I don’t feel that sorrow? Am I so immersed with work or so absorbed with my problems that I’ve lost that feeling?”

Gabrielle nodded along, adding the occasional “ah” of recognition. In her opinion Yerin was feeling all the right things, she just needed reminding of that.

“But this is good, no?” Gabrielle replied with a smile. “We will ‘ave time to mourn, when the battle is done, and we will. I know we will. But for now we must focus on staying alive, so that the sacrifice of all these who ‘ave died means something. So there is good reason not to feel bad about it now because you do your best for all of Starfleet and The Federation now. That is what this time is for. Lateur, that is time for reflection, mourning, remembrance.”

Gabrielle sat forward a moment, reaching for her wine glass and took another large quaff.

“What you do about your gift? Hmm. This is ‘ard. I see two choices. Per’aps three choices.” She sat back, laying her hands in her lap in a very open body-language, well practiced. “First, you do not use your gift and you ‘eal the same as everyone else. You are following orders to keep things secret. And no-one reasonable would want you to sacrifice anything of yourself for those you ‘elp. Second, you use it, but sparingly, and when you can, and as a secret. This is ‘ard on you, I see that it takes it out of you hm? But this is an option. Third, we ‘old a life-force drive, like a blood drive, get those ‘oo wish to contribute to offer some life force to you from all across the ship, and you use it to ‘eal. This would require the Captain’s approval and Isabella too. And this is dangerous. It exposes you, and your colleagues will resent you, I know some will, this is ‘ow yumans are. But this also is an option. But whatever you do I am ‘ere, I know you and what you go through. I am glad you trust me. You can lean on me a little hm? And per’aps I can offer you a little something to ‘elp you through.”

Gabrielle’s last statement seemed to hold with it some deeper meaning, like it was a decision not lightly made for reasons known only to the counsellor.

For Yerin, the choices presented weren’t things to be taken lightly. For a long time helping others in need was something she genuinely enjoyed. It wasn’t just her being a nice person, it was something ingrained in her being. How many times had she healed the same people who were caught after trying to do them harm? She wasn’t an idealist, in fact considering the kind of life that Orlanians, she wouldn’t hesitate to cause harm or take a life if it meant saving others. She always knew what the right thing to do was, and that gave her confidence in her day to day tasks.

But now here she was, far away from her home, stuck in the middle of a senseless war that had caused nothing but suffering from the beginning as all wars do. Her ship was gone, the people she knew for years all likely dead, alone on a ship where no one knew her, and forced to decide what to do with her life.

And she wasn’t under any illusions to the contrary. Gabrielle was right. The choice she would make here would influence her life going forward, and it may not be the kind of outcome she was hoping for.

But then, remembering all the suffering she’d seen, knowing she could help a lot of them, if not all, yet do nothing, could she ever live with herself afterwards?

However, there was something in what her friend said in the end, something that stuck with her. “Well, I… I know it’s a little odd to say this, especially when we just met a while ago but, somehow there’s a part of me that sort of felt like you would understand what it’s like. And there’s this way about you that makes it so easy to talk to you, like I can trust you with something like this. And with how I felt like I was slowly losing my mind, I felt like it was worth the chance to talk to you,” she said with a smile.

“But… what did you mean about offering me something to help?”

Gabrielle shrugged nonchalantly.

“Well, she is easy to talk to, she is a counselleur. Per’aps this is training. Per’aps talent. Per’aps just meant to be, hm? Is nice to ‘ear anyway. You say the food tides you over but you need to ‘ave some errrr… life force, hm? Maybe I am not just someone to listen when you are worried, maybe I give you some life force. Will this ‘elp?”

For a moment Yerin was a little stunned at her words, not quite sure if Gabrielle understood that she was offering. Suddenly, she imagined herself years ago when she was still a healer at the temple and the jovial Frenchwoman was a kind soul offering to help with her needs.

Immediately she blushed bright red, feeling so hot her ears felt like they were burning and imagined that steam was emanating from the collar of her uniform.

Stop it! She scolded herself, knowing she definitely wasn’t offering that. She cleared her throat and smiled, trying to compose herself. “I… I’m surprised. Thank you. It would really help me a lot. But, are you sure? I mean for all you know I could be lying to you and I’m just like that lady in that movie that sucks people dry of their essence like some monster.”

“That is true,” Gabrielle observed with a smile. “I must do my due diligence.” She leant forward and swiped up a PADD from the table between them, a PADD she had brought from sickbay.
“Alors… The counsellor bobbed her head from side to side, accessing menus with beeps and taps and a few more beeps. “D’accord. Bon, bon, bon, oui bon, bon… uhhhh bon… bon…très bon! All is good. I am satisfied you are not going to leave me a shrivelled up ‘usk in a cupboard somewhere. Shall we?” Gabrielle stood and finished her wine, plonking the empty glass on the table with aplomb. Her eyes shone as she looked at Yerin for a reaction.

Yerin was confused, and now that Gabrielle was leading again at her own pace, she didn’t have time to think or even finish her cola that was all watered down and more warm than cold now. “Where are we going?” She asked as she hurriedly followed the surprisingly quick woman. “And what did you do with that PADD?”

“I checked you ouuuuut!” Gabrielle replied with a grin. “I am the chiiieeeef! I ‘ave access to everything! Medical records, Psychological records, Service records, even what kind of underwear you ‘ave on. Very pretty by the way…”

This was clearly a joke, and Gabrielle chuckled slightly as she marched out of the Lounge, PADD in hand with Yerin close behind.

 

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